Oh, my. Holy smokes. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I’m taken aback.
I decided to write an article. And this is all inspired by this tweet.
Now, Jon used ‘Holy toledo’ as a curse word. but I’ve always used it as an exclamation of shock. With that being said, when you drop a pot or you’re surprised at something, look no further! Here are the best things to say when you need to yell something out.
10. Dear me!
If you use this, you’re either A) in a Gone With the Wind revival or B) stuck in the 1800s. This is sort of outdated, but it’s fun to use when you want to over-emphasize something that is unimportant.
Old. 1/10.
9. Heavens to Betsy!
Who is Betsy? Why is she being sent to the heavens? What does this even mean? Is it like, “Oh my, Betsy, go to heaven!?” I don’t truly understand. Is Betsy a cow? Betsy seems like a cow name. To all the Betsy names reading this, I apologize, but you may be a bovine creature. That’s just the way it is. I don’t make the rules.
Confusing. 1/10
8. Jeez!
‘Jeez’ is a four letter, one syllable word. And almost every English speaker has uttered it. It’s so common that it slides down on the rankings. We want fun and imaginative words here.
Boring, but works. 5/10
7. Gee whiz!
I don’t know that I’ve ever heard someone use this unironically. Maybe a physics teacher at a high school in a movie. This belongs to the nerds and the nerds alone. And the dads trying to fit in at teenage parties.
Nerd. 2/10
6. By George!
This has the same element as ‘Heavens to Betsy.’ However, it is still unclear who this George is. Still fun. Simple, sleek, two syllables. It isn’t bad. It’s a mediocre thing. If you say it in a British accent, it’s even more of a blast.
Solid. 5/10
5. Great Scott!
This goes along with By George. But it just flows better. Again, bonus points for the British accent. Two syllables. Unclear as to who Scott is. But he seems great.
Even more solid. 6/10
4. Blimey!
My mind jumps to an old Scottish fisherman who has just caught a big one. Or a “Blimey! There’s the Loch Ness Monster!” type of thing. Again, the British accent makes it. You can’t just go in with a flat Midwestern accent. You’ve got to go full in. Make it three syllables. Spit on the Y. With proper execution, this can be phenomenal.
Need to do it right, but good. 7/10
3. Crikey!
These principles are entirely the same as blimey, but Australian. Maybe you’ve found a snake in the grass. Maybe your files have just corrupted the art you’ve worked on for three days. Or maybe you’re off into the wild for Discovery. No one could do this better than Steve Irwin could.
RIP Crocodile Hunter. 9/10
2. Call me a monkey’s uncle!
Everything about this is just *chefs kiss*. Because this insinuates that the person uttering these words has a family tree in which their sibling or sibling-in-law helped father a monkey. Which is incredible. Because A) It’s illegal. And B) If it is actually an uncle saying this word, he is thus calling his niece/nephew a monkey. WHICH IS EVEN BETTER. It’s an insult added to an already fun expression.
Just about flawless. 9/10
1. Anything with the word ‘Holy’ added to it
See: Holy smokes. Holy Toledo. It’s so very fun, and it’s even funnier the more you think about it. Holy bathtub? Holy eggplant parmesan? Holy Betsy? Holy Crocodile! Holy iPhone 6S with a popsocket on it! Holy zoom meeting! Holy Vitamin Water!
Holy article. I’m done. 10/10.
